I was never one to let go of things easily.
At the age of 7 I was getting ready to head to my first ever school disco. I threw one of the biggest tantrums of my life, all because I refused to wear these white, blinged up, euro style flats I really didn’t like, which my grandma had bought me from Greece. Now we are talking late 80’s euro style coming to Australia!
Long story short…dad ripped up my favourite shoes a) because they were getting small for my growing feet and b) end the debate on which shoes I would wear. I cried, still went to the dance, wore no shoes all night, and needless to say I got in trouble AGAIN for not wearing shoes!
Now you and I could argue that this is a sign of a spoilt, stubborn child (probably/most likely), OR the fact that this is a sign of attachment.
It’s not easy to let go of something you love and enjoy whatever that may be.
Parents holding onto their children’s first pair of shoes; that leather jacket that has cigarette burns from the days that clubs allowed smoking inside; favourite mugs; expensive cutlery that was a wedding gift 12years ago; old sporting photographs; high school love letters, and the list goes on.
So why do we get so attached to things?
Well it’s not just things we hold onto. It’s habits, it’s people, it’s belief systems, it’s daily routines, and it all comes down to emotions and memories.
All of the people and things we hold on to is because of the way they/it make us feel.
Who doesn’t like to relive the past, and travel back in time to a point in your life, where you were different and life was simpler?
This is great for a short period of time, however, we as humans have a tendency to hold onto things and memories way past their “best before” date.
There is nothing wrong with going back in time and feeling those memories, the people in your life, and the surroundings, but holding onto them and not moving on is indicating that you are attached to the past and in danger of becoming depressed and disconnected from the real world, which is here, NOW.
Ask yourself this question.
Are those people/ things/ thoughts/ habits helping me move forward in life or are they holding me back?
Just because you have known each other since year 2, doesn’t mean that relationship is healthy. Just because you bought that toy for your baby nephew who is now 25, means it’s still going to be used. Just because you like your co-workers doesn’t mean you should stay in that brain numbing job. Just because you have always lived in one area, means you have to stay there for the rest of your adult life.
The world is a big place. Let go and move forward.
Now ask yourself this question?
Have you ever let go of something and find you get more of it back in your life?
Did you stop worrying about where the next paycheck was coming in from, to get a call the next day to come in for an interview? Stopped looking online for your next romance to get introduced the next week to someone your friend’s have known for years? Did you stop thinking about how bad you felt in the morning only to get a compliment on how handsome, beautiful you are? Did you make a commitment to yourself to start a new habit and find the old one had no power over you anymore?
The art of letting go!
The minute you stop trying control life, a person, a situation, and yourself, things happen NATURALLY.
Of course it is easier said than done, when you have bills to pay, somewhere to be, or need it done yesterday. But isn’t it funny how life works that way.
I have seen this happen with my life, with friends, and heard many stories from others on when they just said “fuck it” and let go, things just happened.
Bruce Lee’s famous “be like water” quote.
“You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.”
Learn to let go, stop resisting the change, stop fighting the natural flow of life which is leading you to an easier and happier place.
Once you let go, it comes to you in it’s own time, in it’s own way and when you are ready.
So if you are having a bad day, just have it. If you are feeling awesome, embrace it. Don’t know where you are in your life? That is completely ok. Feel the urge to travel, go for it.
Enjoy the moments, enjoy the memories, and make sure you make way for new ones to continue happening.
The root of all suffering is attachment – Buddha